| Post Match report - Adelaide Test Match The inevitable happened. India was humiliated and Australia registered a comprehensive 285 run victory. I guess that the Indian supporters are used to this by now. Can any one remember the last time India won an away series? Well the series is not yet over, there are still two tests left and miracles are not totally unheard of in the Southern Hemisphere. India can still win the series and teach the stubborn but magnificent Australians a lesson. (I really excel in wishful thinking!). So lets look at a detailed analysis of the first test and try to figure out what went wrong (more appropriately what didn't go wrong) for the Indians and what they need to do to make this series more competitive. DAY 1 BHAUT MARA India started the day in style and ended it in sorrow. 52 for 4. 298 for 5. Bhaut mara. Dhunai kar di. One thing that Kangaroos are good at is bouncing and bounce back is exactly what Australia did. The partnership between Ponting and Waugh was a treat to watch and Tendulkar's captaincy a horror. What was the idea behind bowling Ganguly when Ponting, arguably the worst player of spin in the world was playing? Why was Kumble not given a bowl earlier? Why was there no effort to go for the jugular and finish off the Kangaroos? Why was.. Oh forget it. Many a great men have spent countless hours trying to figure out why India lacks the killer instinct and no one has been able to come up with a satisfactory explanation. So lets just stop asking the question. And if you want to see an Indian sports team with killer instinct, start watching Kabbadi.
On the other hand let me follow the media and congratulate Steve Waugh on being the first man to score a century against every test playing nation and reaching the 8,000 runs milestone. Now the 8000 run milestone I understand but being the first person to score a century against every test playing nation in the world? I don't think so! When has Steve Waugh scored a century against Australia? Is not Australia a test-playing nation??? I thought it was one of the best, but then thinking was never my strong point. Anyway CONGRATULATIONS Steve. WHAT WENT WRONG: Tendu's captaincy (we forgive him cause we love him), the fielding, and lack of real high quality bowlers. WHAT INDIA NEEDS TO DO: Develop a killer instinct- PLEASE! DAY 2 Warne the world, Shane is on fire and then boredom ZZZzz……………. Shane Warne has no business scoring 86 runs. For a number 8 batsman to bat in the manner in which Warne batted is just not cricket. Number 8 batsmen are called tail enders and they are supposed to score 6 runs not EIGHTY-SIX. But you can't really blame Warne cause when he saw the Indian bowling attack which I have nicknamed 'The a bail mujhe mar' (English translation: come bull, hit me) attack, he must have thought its Christmas come early. (Hi fredy, borrowing your phrase). All said and done it was Warne who took the match away from India, for now India had no chance of winning the match. All they could do was try and save the game. The Indian innings: Ramesh run out. Gandhi came, Gandhi saw, Gandhi got out. ZZZzzzzz….. Lakshman -Dravid partnership developing- lets try to stay awake. Lakshman gone, Dravid gone. Tendu batting- YAHOO! Tendu putting us to sleep- ZZZzzz…… ZZZzzz……. Tendu 4 runs in 30 balls ZZZzzz…… ZZZzzz…… Tendu 12 of 62 balls. Well-played mate and thanks for that refreshing nap. The Indian team has often been criticized for loosing matches because in their effort to play attractive cricket they score too quickly and do not spend enough time at the crease. Well before leaving for the Australian tour the team had sworn to prove its critics wrong. And what better way to do it than to play an unattractive and boring game and still look like the loosing side. Mission Accomplished. WHAT WENT WRONG: No one told the Indians that Warne had been practicing his batting. A new strategy failed. WHAT INDIA NEEDS TO DO: Stick to what it is good at- hitting Warne baby for sixes. DAY 3 Virtues of a good nights sleep. Sleep seems to be good for Sachin Tendulkar also. For today his batting today was pure magic. The Australians had no answer as the best batsman in the world took center stage. Runs flowed effortlessly from his bat and the atmosphere in the stadium was electric. Everyone was watching the master at work i.e. everyone except umpire Daryl 'JERK' Harper. Harper had not managed to get much sleep the previous night and was definitely sleeping when he gave Tendulkar out. If only he had been blessed with a goods nights' sleep. Tendu's wicket effectively sealed India's fate. At stumps Australia had an overall lead of 227 with 8 wickets in hand. The game was out of India's hand. WHAT WENT WRONG: Umpires decision, Failure to convert starts. WHAT INDIA NEEDS TO DO: Keep 'patting the umpire on the back' to make sure he stays awake! DAY 4 Harper is not a jerk, he is a fucking jerk. For once the bowlers did their job but then once again Harper sealed India's fate. They say that lightning does not strike twice but there are no such rules for Mr. Harper; for he struck again and gave Tendu out for a duck when he was clearly NOT OUT. Either this man Harper is a stupid, half-witted, insane, useless, dumb oaf or he is plain obnoxious or maybe both. Whatever he is, he deserves to be tortured, shot, burnt, hanged, electrocuted and fucked to death. OK lets leave out the fucking but his eyeballs should be plucked out and fed to the dogs. What a fucking jerk. Does he not know that India has a policy of Tendu and Ten-don't. What an asshole. WHAT WENT WRONG: God created Daryl Harper WHAT INDIA NEEDS TO DO: Kill him, so he is no longer a threat to life in this universe. Day 5 Lets make it quick and the trap is set The policy India followed today was if we gonna lose lets lose quickly. What a great set up this has been. The trap of overconfidence has been laid. And come 26th December the Kangaroos will be trapped. That is the time for the Indians to show their true colours and really FUCK the kangaroos DOGGY-STYLE! Home page | Azhar's profile | Photos | Joke
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