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An American had been told to go to a cricket match while he was in England. He watched with pleasure as the teams came out andthe batsman scored four runs off the first six balls. Then the umpire called "OVER". "Well," he said, getting up,"it's a nice game - but it's very short!"

 


The captain was looking for new blood for his side."O.K.," he said to one man, "what are you like at wicket-keeping?" "Passable," said the applicant. "That's no good," said the captain, "we've already got one like that. We want one that's IMpassable!"

 


 

The Devils challenged the Angels to a game of cricket."But we've got all the cricketers," said the Angels. The Devils said: "Yes. But we've got all the UMPIRES !"

 


In school, the teacher asked Johnny to spell "bowling".Back came the answer : "B-o-e-l-i-n." "That," said the teacher,"is the worst spell of bowling I've ever seen."



During the match, the fieldsman positioned just behind theumpire kept trying to distract the batsman as the ball was bowled to him. Several appeals for l.b.w were turned down,and finally the umpir turned to the fieldsman and said sternly: "I've been watching you for the last twenty minutes.""I thought so," came the reply, "I could tell you weren't watching the game!"

 


A friend asked George, "Tell me, is your daughter's fianceea good catch?" "Good catch?" answered George. "Dammit, he's the worst fielder we've got in the side!"

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An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected to the Lord's cricket ground. "How's it going?" he asked. "Fine," came the answer,
"We've got three out and hope to have the rest out beforelunch. The last one was a duck."

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